Author: mj274457-ovh

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What the Heart Knows

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In my work I observe faces, in particular using the ancient Chinese practice of Mien Shiang to read personality traits, behaviour styles and a great deal more. Our life history, or more accurately our responses to life’s challenges are revealed in our facial features if we know how to look. The key features are the eyes. Whether or not they are the ‘windows to the soul’ they certainly reveal most about who we are, have been and may become. It might indeed be most accurate to refer to ourselves as human becomings.

Experience, both personal and in terms of what I’ve observed over many years tells me that life is both a learning and an unlearning process. As we unlearn and unravel the conditioning of parental and societal expectations and conditioning we can learn to open to who and what we are truly capable of being. In opening we begin to realize that deep within us is an infinitely powerful source of vitality and creativity.

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For several centuries in the West we have been largely governed by the Cartesian philosophy where logic and rational thinking have been widely regarded as superior. Emotions have often been seen as inconvenient intrusions. (Note: I have long been fascinated by the at times vicious emotional arguments among eminent rational scientists e.g. Heisenberg and Schrodinger.) We now unfortunately have ever increasing rates of depression, suicide and other conditions related to deep stress. While there is no one cause of any of this it seems reasonable to state that we have gravely neglected to nurture our emotional wellbeing at great cost.

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The heart has traditionally been seen in literature, poetry and music as the seat of our emotions. More recently neuroscientists have demonstrated the Heart has a brain of its own and that there is two-way communication between it and the Cranial brain. The Heart Math Institute in particular is showing and measuring the impact of this two-way communication on our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. When stressed for any sustained period the impact on our physiology is considerable.

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Many of us in both our professional and personal lives are experiencing a wide range of at times widely and wildly fluctuating sensations and emotions as we deal with the ever increasing busyness of modern life. In the past year the many of the conversations I’ve had with conservative business professionals have centred on the importance of mental and emotional wellbeing in the workplace. There is growing awareness – and increasing evidence – that emotional intelligence plays a major role in greater employee engagement, satisfaction and performance.

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More recently I came to realize I had built a business persona and online profile that neglected a key element of my own nature vital to my own fulfilment. That element is joy! I do what I do because I love to share tools to enable people to connect more deeply, more powerfully, more lastingly and more profitably. For me that combines fun and practicality, and the responses I get from clients fuel my joy. We have seen the devastating social and cultural impact of the uber-macho culture in the workplace – Lehman Brothers, Salomon Brothers, Enron et al – and those impacts have been global. Conversely we have seen the ripples of joy and sustainable growth spread by visionaries such as Muhammad Yunus with microfinance which has had massive positive impact on communities. This is not to critique one commercial approach vis-a-vis another; rather it is to note the positive effects of engaging the Heart and the Head in our thinking and actions.

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As the Heart awakens we begin to experience our internal world differently, and by extension we behave differently in the world around us. There may be a period of feeling unsettled, with moments of clarity interspersed with tears, confusion and feeling of being distinctly out of balance. Gradually however as we learn to relax we notice clear physical benefits. The quality of our sleep improves; our digestion is easier; headaches and muscle pain decrease; our overall energy begins to increase. We become less hurried and harried, more conscious of the myriad wonders of daily life, and joy becomes a much more regular companion. In short, as we open ourselves we begin to experience the world around us through the Heart. We begin to engage with life with a lighter and more joyful commitment. Judgements become fewer and less relevant, and previously un-thought of opportunities for deeper connection and collaboration present with greater frequency.

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Will we still experience sadness, frustration and maybe even despair? Probably yes on occasion. The big difference is that in experiencing life through the Heart and remembering to return there we no longer attach to these debilitating states. We can let them be and let them go. The Heart calls, and as we answer life becomes more flowing and wondrous.

If you’d like to learn more my contact details are below.

Feel free to share this article.

Alongside my work in profiling, interviews and negotiations I work with groups and individuals who wish to bring joy to the forefront of their daily lives, both professional and personal. I’m available for presentations and consultations both in person and online. I’m also the author of ‘Face Facts: The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’, available through my website. Contact me on: +353-(0)87-246 1853 or at joseph@clearsightcommunications.com

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Learning to Network – from Stress to Pleasure

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“All successful networking is dependent on two key things: reciprocity and curiosity.”
― Phyllis Weiss Haserot

Unlike many people I enjoy networking, but it certainly wasn’t always the case. Now I’m happy to go into a room to meet people whether I know them beforehand or not. When I first began networking I found the experience particularly daunting. Generally I coped by helping set up the room, hanging around with someone I knew, standing silently in a group and frequent visits to the bathroom to calm my nerves.

After a while I began to learn the value of listening. Appearing at least to be interested rather than trying to be interesting served me better. I even went as far as compiling a list of stock open-ended questions to use at events so that people would talk to me, avoid dead air and ensure I didn’t look like Billy-No-Mates! Being willing to ask questions also had another benefit. It made me more approachable as people saw that I was willing to engage and listen. It also transpired that I was sometimes asking questions which others wanted to but felt too awkward to ask. It saved them from appearing foolish as they saw it. For me it meant I learnt something new and my often naïve questions often prompted fresh reflection on the part of the speaker.

It began to dawn on me that many others were also uncomfortable in the situation. As I paid more attention to listening and observing it became apparent that quite a few individuals in virtually every gathering were making small talk to fill the silence rather than speaking to connect. Many will also gravitate towards those they already know. If those individuals are speaking to someone new it presents the opportunity of a fresh introduction. Otherwise why not introduce yourself to someone you haven’t met and learn about them? You may be able to help them directly or indirectly which will benefit them and make you look good.

In preparing myself to enter a room I have several key points to remember:

  • It’s often a good idea if you’re new to arrive early and help the organizers setup. It makes you look good and provides you with immediate introductions.
  • If possible get a list of registered attendees beforehand and target specific people to meet. Bear in mind you’re not looking initially to sell anything but to arrange a meeting.
  • Make sure to follow up on all such introductions within 48 hours at most.
  • Bring a buddy if you’re nervous and speak to other attendees about each other. Promoting the interests of someone else may be easier than speaking about oneself.
  • Keep your questions concise but open and demonstrate that you are listening.
  • Stand tall when entering the room, make eye contact and smile – always remember to smile!
  • Know why you’re there, move around, meet the people you want to meet and learn to effectively and politely disengage!

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. He is also the author of the recently published book  Face Facts:The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’. Now available:

https://clearsightcommunications.com/face-facts-book

Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group training and presentations, private functions and conferences. Contact: joseph@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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You May Be Listening But Are You Hearing?

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“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” – Jim Rohn

Listening is a key component of successful and effective communication between any two or more humans. How often do we hear ‘debates’ on radio or TV where there is an almost total absence of listening. So often these exchanges are marked and fuelled by an apparent compulsion by participants to talk, often to the extent of going completely off topic.

I’ll leave it to psychologists to analyse the reasons why this phenomenon is so prevalent. My focus here is on the positive benefits of learning to listen. Doing so enables us to hear not just what is being said but also the tone and intent behind them. We can also learn to listen for what is being omitted, whether intentionally or otherwise.

“But behaviour in the human being is sometimes a defence, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication.” – Abraham Maslow

Albert Mehrabians oft misquoted study refers to the percentages of understanding and congruency in conversations with a strong emotional content. His breakdown of 38%, 55% and 7% relates to tone and syntax, body language, and the words themselves. Too often we focus our attention on the words and allow ourselves to be distracted and even misdirected. It then becomes easy to miss the incongruencies in the mix of body language etc, especially if the speaker is eloquent, or more technologically competent than we are.

“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.” – Joseph Priestley

It requires confidence, awareness and willingness to listen with care. Whether in interviews, negotiations or sales processes the potential misdirections are plentiful. Extending our listening skills beyond our ears and intellect to ‘whole body listening’ helps greatly. Aligning all our faculties enables us to hear what is said, the intention behind it and what is left unsaid. Having a more complete picture allows us to give a much more informed response.

Start practicing by putting your feet on the ground and rest your hands on your thighs. Pay attention to your breath both in and out, and focus on the rhythm. Briefly scan your body from head to toe for any areas of tension. Gently roll/shake any such areas to begin a relaxation process – it won’t all happen at once but you’re making a start. Repeat daily for even 5 minutes at a time and you’ll see obvious benefits. Cultivating the awareness of your own body and its signals will increase your alertness for incongruencies in those you’re interviewing/negotiating with.

Relaxed alertness without straining facilitates a deeper level of understanding and is a means to differentiating between clear and hopeful decisions, leading to better deals!

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. He is also the author of the recently published book  Face Facts:The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’. Now available:

https://clearsightcommunications.com/face-facts-book

Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group training and presentations, private functions and conferences. Contact: joseph@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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So You’re the Interviewer – Are You Really Paying Attention?

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(Photo credit Tim Gouw – unsplash)

As a presenter at the recent Networking Summit in Dublin I had the opportunity to engage with attendees from many different business backgrounds. One question I was asked frequently was whether I help interviewees prepare by profiling their known or likely interviewers beforehand. Whilst I do it on occasion I’m more likely to be found sitting with the interviewer(s).

Conducting an interview well requires a vital skillset which many interviewers lack. Indeed many interviewers appear to fall into the role without any training. Being head of a department is in itself by no means adequate. Frequently the area in which the successful applicant will work is not represented in the interview process. It is also unfortunately a common phenomenon for interviewers to fall victim to confirmation bias, either choosing or rejecting a candidate based on qualities they associate with people they either like or dislike.

All of that notwithstanding my role is to assess the candidates in terms of their personality, behaviour style, communication patterns – both how they communicate and how they receive and process – stress triggers and responses and their adaptability. As a rule the interviewer(s) will ask most of the questions, but I may well interject with one or more of my own if I see an issue which requires me to draw the attention of the interviewer.

Using my training in the Chinese art of Mien Shiang (Face Reading) I’m picking up a great deal of information about the aforementioned aspects of the interviewee. I’m also observing body language and micro expressions. When taken as a whole this offers a great deal of insight into the person behind the CV, their ability to articulate and the elegance and style of their attire.

Small details such as being overly demonstrative with their non-dominant hand, or sudden movements of their feet are often ‘red flags’ alerting me to incongruencies in their presentation. It is clearly understood by my clients that I do not advise on hiring/promoting or not. That must be their decision. What I provide is clear and accurate information as to the how the candidates are likely to interact and behave in the real workplace.

Aside from – and more important than – the hands and feet I recommend paying particular attention to the eyes. Making eye contact is normal in most western cultures and we form first impressions in a matter of seconds. Whether we pay conscious attention to those first impressions is another matter, especially in our modern world of continuous stimulatory bombardment! The eyes convey such a wealth of information about the individual that it is remiss in any business context not to pay attention.

In particular I recommend asking oneself the following questions:

  • Are the eyes warm or cold i.e. friendly or hostile?
  • Are they bright or dull i.e. energetic or tired?
  • Open and engaged or hiding?

Asking yourself these 3 questions and being alert for the answers will help eliminate making very expensive mistakes. Employing/promoting the wrong person at senior level may involve direct financial costs of 2.5 times their annual salary, disruption to employee morale resulting in decreased productivity and increased absenteeism, customer dissatisfaction and other negative ripple effects.

So I return to my original question to the interviewer. Are you paying attention? The truth is out there!

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. He is also the author of the soon to be published book  Face Facts:The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’. Now available to pre-order:

https://clearsightcommunications.com/face-facts-book

Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences. Contact: joseph@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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My Journey to Becoming an Author

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A book is not a book! Well it is to the reader, but to the author it represents two journeys. It is both the end point of one and the beginning of a new one. It’s the emergence into the light of a new day with a badge of achievement and a newly minted identity.

For some the journey to authorship may be smooth sailing, but for others it is like a Masters from the University of Blood, Sweat and Tears – thanks Dave Russell! My parents introduced me to the joys of reading via comics and library books at an early age. Whether it was fiction, comedy, social history, history, travel journals, biographies or even anthropology I became voracious in my reading habits. However alongside the joy it was an attempt to find keys to understanding a world that had me confused and bewildered, and left me floundering in my attempts to make sense of things.

Over time as a young man growing I developed a façade of toughness to hide behind. The confusion and sense of not belonging built and hardened the shell from the inside to a point of deep emotional incapacity and increased feelings of isolation. I was functioning but certainly not thriving. School results were fine until a point where they simply fell apart, and I had no idea why.

My English teacher up to Inter – now Junior – Certificate level, the late J.J. Murphy inspired in me a desire to write, and as I grew I developed a small network of pen pals around the globe. Our hand written letters allowed us to share our philosophical musings and provided a private refuge from the world. With the advent of the internet the letter writing dropped away, and email never offered the same degree of connection to one’s own inner processes.

Some years ago my then partner and I visited an astrologer together. As soon as we sat down he turned to her and asked “Has he written it yet?” On one level it was very affirming that someone else, however he did it, could connect to my love of and capacity to write. On another it triggered feelings of despair and absolute desolation. It brought back a multitude of memories from childhood of being told what I should do or be capable of doing, and the young me silently screaming “But I don’t know how! Please listen!” I was never beaten or abused, and it is not to compare my story with others. It’s simply that my abiding perception was of being abandoned by life and of being utterly ill equipped and uninformed.

Many years later we arrive at a book. There’s very little of my story in the book as it is not relevant in what is a practical communication manual. For me though, as the author, the book is not a book. It reflects a journey into belief, self-acceptance, deep self-confidence and a desire and capacity to engage and share with the world. So much of that is down to the façade of toughness crumbling as my life fell apart and a group of very special friends helped me rebuild and learn to truly value myself.  I’ve learned that in life timing is everything. I was faced with stark choices, and am beyond grateful for the rock-solid loving support I received, and for the fact that despite how I felt I was ready to receive.

So a book is not a book. For me it’s a rebirth and an emergence into the world with solid confidence and a new – and rapidly expanding – appreciation of the myriad joys that life offers.

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. He is also the author of the soon to be published book ‘Face Facts:The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’. Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences. Contact: joseph@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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Looking Beyond the Suits and Smiles

‘All that glisters is not gold’ – quote from The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare

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Even with the growing popularity of workplace changes such as Casual Friday there is still an overwhelming tendency for business professionals at all levels to wear suits and more formal clothing. For some it is due to tradition, and for others it is an indication of status. Many are impressed and even intimidated by the outer appearance and fail to look beyond the surface.

In reality clothing and jewellery can serve as distractions, while labels and logos are often decoys – serving the phenomenon known as ‘peacocking’. Regardless of the context, when we meet another human being it is vital we learn to look ‘behind the veil’. In many cases, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz we may find the real figure is anything but impressive or substantial. To negotiate, recruit or build successful long term business relationships we need to take a calm clear look at the person, not their outer appearance.

In particular I strongly recommend you pay close attention to the eyes. Making eye contact and reading the eyes provides us with key information about each individual we meet. Confidence, happiness, deception, evasion,sadness, depression, vitality, and low energy are all visible if we allow ourselves to see. We should especially be alert to spot warmth, coldness or even an absence of emotion. The latter two qualities give immediate cause for concern in any putative business relationship!

There is an old saying that ‘The eyes are the windows to the soul’. Without being too metaphysical we can gain greatly by simply opening our eyes to see what is revealed in clear sight, thus strengthening our position in all interactions.

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. He is also the author of the soon to be published book ‘Face Facts:The Art of Reading Your Clients and Prospects for Sales, Negotiation and Recruitment’.Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences.

For further information email: info@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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5 Key non-Verbal tips for Negotiations

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“People may hear your words but they feel your body language”- John C Maxwell

You’ve done your due diligence on the business and prepared your position but you still have to meet and deal with the people. As we know these situations can be tense, and emotions have a way of creeping into our decision making. The ideal outcome is win-win but the reality is often different. So what can you do to influence positive progress? Here are 5 practical tips to help you tune in to and connect with your counterpart:

1) Walk calmly and slowly with an upright bearing into the room. This conveys a message of confidence and ease on your part, and the slower movement is non-threatening. It’s also a very good idea to observe how your counterpart moves and note if they move slowly, fast or with any degree of jerkiness. The latter will denote agitation or anxiety – unless of course there is a physical condition causing it – and may require an extra effort on your part to calm the atmosphere.

2) Shake hands. Research from Harvard Business School and the Booth School of Business (University of Chicago) shows that parties who shake hands at the outset experienced greater openness around issues of contention, leading to more satisfactory outcomes for both sides. (Note: the handshake should be neither the ‘Wet Fish’ nor the ‘Bonecrusher” – see my previous article on handshakes: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/introductions-your-handshake-speaks-volumes-joseph-mcguire/)

3) Make eye contact. It’s striking how often people focus on reading from prepared statements or turn their eyes away. It is equally advisable not to stare in an attempt to psyche out your counterpart a la boxers at a weigh-in. Calm relaxed and regular eye contact, ideally for a maximum of 30 seconds at a time conveys that you are present and engaged with the process.

4) Your smile should be the full Duchenne smile where your eyes crinkle, rather than just your mouth being involved. A full smile also conveys relaxed confidence and openness to engaging. It will also help ensure you remain relaxed as it transmits through your own physiology.

5) This may not always be possible depending on the setting, but if possible I’d recommend keeping your counterparts feet in view. Any sudden change of position, especially if the feet turn towards each other reveals the point being discussed is a ‘hot button’ for them. I’d advise noting it, letting it pass, and allowing the conversation move on to more neutral territory. When they have returned to their baseline state i.e. normal body language/posture raise the topic again. If their feet make the same or similar movement stick with the topic until you’re satisfied with the answer.

In the real world you may not always achieve the result you desire. You may have to settle for your BATNA – best alternative to a negotiated agreement – but at least if you’ve adopted the above tips you’ll be in a much more relaxed state regardless of the outcome.

If you like this article feel free to share it.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales communications and HR. Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences.

For further information email: info@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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How Is Your Sales Team Performing?

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“Make a customer, not a sale.” – Katherine Barchetti

You have targets and quotas. You have current and potential customers, but sales figures are not meeting your expectations. Some of your team are doing superbly but others are under-performing. You like them as people and you know they have potential – and in today’s climate you can’t easily fire them!

The training they’ve had has brought limited results. One probable issue is that they’re using a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach and treating each customer the same way. When we see things through the customer’s eyes we increase our chances of success. It’s not simply a question of price or want but rather of understanding their perspective and outlook. Give them the information they way they need to receive it and you open the door to success. You also sow the seeds for a successful long-term business relationship.

“It’s not about having the right opportunities. It’s about handling the opportunities right.” –Mark Hunter

Learning to recognize small but significant differences in each person and respond accordingly brings a change in results. With new skills your salesperson achieves more and exudes greater confidence. You’re happier as profits rise and your customers get better service.

Key visual cues provide insights into the personality and behaviour style of each customer. These cues reveal how best to communicate with your customer – and potential customer – as an individual. Learning those details and how to use them well makes a big difference to your bottom line.

“Joseph’s unique skill clearly has an extensive range of applications for any person or business, a very powerful tool with immediate commercial benefits” – Stuart Sheehy (Financial Controller and Chartered Accountant)

When you’re ready to upskill your team in a way that makes a lasting difference call Clearsight Communications. We offer a range of training options to meet your needs and boost your sales.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales and HR. Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences. For further information email: info@clearsightcommunications.com

Or call: + 353-(0)87-246 1853

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6 Visual Communication Tips – Watch the Eyebrows

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“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place” – George Bernard Shaw

To offer an exceptional product or service is one thing, to communicate effectively about it is another. Just as a tailor takes careful measurements before making a suit so should we take into account the personality and behaviour style of our potential (and current) clients. No matter what our product or service offers we can be sure we’re competing with someone or something else. There will be several considerations for the client and understanding not just their priorities but their perspective will help give us an edge.

Recent research at the University of York into the role of eyebrows in human development indicates their primary role has been in communication. We use various movements of the eyebrows to express feelings and responses such as surprise, openness to engaging, sympathy and a great deal more. It isn’t only those movements which transmit signals as static eyebrows also provide a great deal of information. In particular they tell about how we receive and process information, how we engage with others and our approach to work. Here are 6 examples to be aware of when you want to ensure you get your message across to best effect:

The Unibrow

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The Unibrow indicates a very busy mind. Those possessed of one are likely to be emotionally cautious and slow to trust. When dealing with them be patient and consistent, and be prepared for lots of questions. Be sure to follow through on all agreements as they will remember any instance where they have been let down, and they tend to be slow to forgive. They may also have very definite opinions so be prepared to have a number of meetings before you see any signs of progress.

Overhanging Eyebrows

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Eyebrows sitting close to the eyes are a sign of a mind which reacts quickly, even impatiently. They’re often likely to interrupt before you’ve finished speaking, and are not always diplomatic! Be prepared for questions which may not relate directly to your offering, and to direct the conversation back to its central theme – you may need to do this frequently. Above all be clear and speak fast as slow rambling speech will cause them to lose interest swiftly. Note that if the eyebrows move downwards towards the eyes while you are speaking the other party has stopped listening and is preoccupied with what they want to say. Be alert for this signal!

Inverted V

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The inverted or upside down V, or the eyebrow angled downwards towards the inner corner of the eye is a sign of an autocratic nature. These people expect to be in charge, and expect their instructions to be carried out as directed. Patience is not their strong point. When dealing with them be sure you are thoroughly prepared. Even when you are they may well point out flaws in your proposition, and do so in a very direct manner. Either way you may expect a quick decision as they have no time for prevarication. Be sure to do a thorough background check on how others have dealt successfully with them in the past.

Straight Eyebrows

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When the main body of the eyebrow is quite straight we can tell that this individual has an analytical mind. When speaking to them all information should be presented in a logical and structured fashion. Details are important to them and they have little interest in ‘touchy feely’ unless they can see practical application. The thicker the eyebrow the more information they will comfortably absorb at one time.

Upright Hairs

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A cluster of upright hairs at the beginning of the eyebrows tells us this is someone who will quickly spot the potential problems in a new proposition or project, and is likely to point them out. They can be invaluable to have around if you want an honest verdict before taking your product or service to market. Your ego may not like it but their input is invariably practical.

Curved Eyebrows

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Curved eyebrows reflect a more person oriented outlook. This is a time for demonstrating so called ‘soft skills’ such as empathy. Showing that you are genuinely interested in them and their viewpoint will at least open the door to a meaningful discussion. Take time, avoid being pushy and allow trust to build.

I’m frequently asked about women tweaking or treating their eyebrows and how that impacts on what I see. Any cosmetic alteration is seen as an external manifestation of a desire for internal change. We can often see where the changes have been made as well as the results. Even simply seeing the results reveals the aspirations, and the eyes themselves tell whether those aspirations have been met.

Studies have shown that those repeatedly using Botox are not only less expressive in their features but also tend to be less willing to engage on a deeper level. Food for thought!

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales and HR. Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences. For further information email: info@clearsightcommunications.com

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Introductions: Your Handshake Speaks Volumes

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“I have always been an honest trader. I come from a school of traders where there was honour in the deal. No contracts, just a handshake and that’s it, done. That’s the way I prefer to do business but it’s not always possible these days, sadly.” – Lord Alan Sugar

On meeting one of the first things we normally do is shake hands. Whether or not we are conscious of it how we do so offers a distinct first impression of our personality. In essence there are 4 types of handshake with a few sub-variations. Whatever your handshake it should only last as long as it takes to greet each other. Do remember also to always make eye contact when shaking hands. Failure to do so may be taken as a sign that you are being evasive!

The Bonecrusher – I know of at least one case where this actually happened and a petite and very polite woman suffered broken fingers. This handshake is invariably given by those who see themselves as dominant males. It shows little awareness or appreciation of the wellbeing or needs of others. Those who shake hands like this expect attention and even acquiescence. They also tend to prioritise doing business over small talk, and making decisions quickly.

In some cases – notably among political leaders – they will use the double handed grip to demonstrate that they are in charge! They may also favour the palm downwards variation which again is intended to reflect dominance. Both are widely regarded as unfriendly gestures.

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The Pumper – They’ll greet you enthusiastically and shake your hand quite vigorously. Even if meeting for the first time they’re pleased to see you and want to get to know you. You may get business done, but for them it will be part of the process rather than necessarily the core purpose for meeting. Building relationships and making introductions is central to their raison d’être. On meeting them for a second time they may well attempt to hug you in their enthusiasm.

The Long Grip – The grip is firm but they don’t let go as if for fear of upsetting you. They tend to be less confident socially and place great emphasis on taking care of others. Being pressurised to make decisions quickly makes them distinctly uncomfortable as they much prefer to mull things over at length. They also tend to build relationships slowly and place great value on loyalty.

The Wet Fish – There is a general perception that a weak handshake reflects a weak personality, and I would caution against making that assumption. Medical professionals will be well aware of arthritis sufferers for whom shaking hands is very painful, and whose grip is weak as a consequence. Outside of medical conditions the Wet Fish handshake tends to indicate a personality more attuned to projects and details rather than people. They’re not necessarily unfriendly. Rather it’s a case of let’s deal with the information first and make sure everything is in order. Please note that these people do not hug!

The cultural anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the term proxemics, which refers to the physical spaces between people with which different cultures tend to be comfortable. Those with the Wet Fish handshake become particularly uncomfortable when their space is encroached upon. Standing too close when you have just met them may give them cause to dislike you and hinder any potential business deal.

Government Press Office (Israel) (Mobile)

As in the above example those who shake hands at a distance are clearly indicating their discomfort at being in the presence of particular individuals. This particular photo refers to a very specific and tense political situation, but such handshakes are not unknown in business. In such cases it will take a monumental effort to establish any degree of trust, and negotiations are likely to be long drawn out and quite fraught.

Joseph McGuire is the owner of Clearsight Communications who provide personal evaluation services and training in the areas of senior level recruitment/promotion, negotiations, sales and HR. Individual consultation sessions are available both in person and via Skype. He is also in demand for group presentations, private functions and conferences. For further information email: info@clearsightcommunications.com